Looking Back: Thoughts on Full-Time, Solo Travel

Safety starts with awareness, not fear.

I try to travel smart, particularly as a woman traveling alone — It’s important that I keep an eye on my surroundings, trust my intuition, and stay alert — having said that, I can’t let the fear of “something” happening stop me from pursuing my adventure. I don’t believe it’s possible to commit to this lifestyle if you are afraid of new challenges, or just nervous about what “might” happen.

Assertiveness often discourages unwanted attention — but common-sense precautions (staying in well-reviewed accommodations, telling someone your plans, etc.) matter too. This lesson I’ve learned the hard way. (For anyone following my blog, you will immediately think of my stay in the 4Play Hotel.)

I am a bit of risk-taker so I often times ask myself….”What would my kids advise me to do.” The last thing I want is a call from one of them giving me the riot act for doing something stupid.” You know it’s bound to happen.

You can’t control everything….not even close.

Flights get canceled. Trains employees go on strike. Weather changes. Plans shift. You have to be able to roll with the punches and be flexible. Once something goes wrong, and I find myself frustrated, I count to ten before I freak out, and instead pivot to what I can make out of the situation. Sometimes, the unexpected changes turn out to have a better result than the original plan. Stay flexible! Learn from the experience.

People are mostly kind.

Across cultures and languages, strangers will help you — with directions, food recommendations, directions to the toilet, etc. It’s not always easy to ask, but I’ve not had anyone not help out when asked. Most often, they do it with a smile.

People in other countries are like us. They might look and speak differently, but they want the same things as we do. They experience the same highs, lows, challenges and victories. We are all citizens of a beautiful, big world.

Home is a feeling, or sense of being, not a place.

I’m often asked if I miss having a home that I can come back to where I know that I can be comfortable among my own belongings. And there are times when that is true. But most of the time, I am grateful that I don’t have “things” to hold me back from living this lifestyle. I’ve discovered that “home” becomes wherever you feel safe and connected. Home is a place in my head and heart that has nothing to do with where I am in the world.

Alone doesn’t mean lonely.

I’ve been on my own for 20+ years, and loneliness is something that I deal with here and there. I thought being lonely might be more of a challenge in a foreign country where I don’t know anyone, nor do I speak the language. But, it’s OK to be lonely. It’s temporary, and the exception, not the rule. Sometimes I take a group tour to spend time with others. I’ve made some great friends in this way. Or, sometimes I head to a coffee shop and listen for English being spoken, introduce myself, and spend time chatting with someone interesting.

I like being on my own. I like my own company (most of the time). That’s not to say that there haven’t been times when I’ve asked myself what the heck I’m doing so far away from my family and friends, especially my grandsons. I do miss them and sometimes get lonely thinking of them. Thank goodness for video chats.

Spend money when it’s warranted.

While there are times to be frugal and keep to a budget, a once-in-a-lifetime trip should be memorable. I don’t want to spend more money than I need to, but if there are times when comfort and safety is more important than saving money. If I’m in an apartment that I plan to spend a month or so, and the bed is hard and there is no place to relax, that’s going to be a deal breaker. Perspective is key.

It’s also more polite and respectful of the local culture to maintain perspective that haggling vendors down to their last nickel. Getting a small discount makes little difference in my travel budget but is a huge difference in local salaries. It is shocking to discover how little people in other countries have to live on. Travel is only humbling and perspective-shifting when you make a conscious effort to make informed choices and learn from each new experience.

Self-care is critical.

I understand that, because of my age, there is a limited “window” of time that I can continue this wonderful adventure. And, although I’ve always tried to take good care of myself, I have now become more focused on it. Falling in Vietnam, and dislocating my shoulder, brought this to the forefront. That fall was not a result of failing health, just my not paying attention. However, major injuries or illness do oftentimes cause you to stop an reevaluate how you are managing your self-care.

Anyone who has traveled often, knows how difficult it is to maintain a routine and create a healthy balance while being in a new environment. I have made it my mission to keep to healthy routines regardless of the circumstances I find myself in. It’s not always easy, but it is critical to my overall well-being both physically and mentally.

Slowing down is important.

I started my adventures, moving from place to place every week or two. While I was able to see and do a lot of things, I found that rushing from place-to-place burns energy and attention. Staying longer allows me to get quickly into my day-to-day routines that keep me on track with self-care and gives me more time to just relax and experience what’s going on around me. I can make friends, cook healthy meals and get good, consistent sleep.

Cultural respect is required.

I spend some time before each trip trying to get a better understanding of local customs. I believe this shows respect and opens doors that ignorance keeps closed. Just because someone doesn’t do things in the same way as you doesn’t mean it’s not right for less important. I try to embrace the differences, appreciate and celebrate them.

Downsizing and packing light changes your outlook on life.

Minimalism isn’t just physical — it a mindset that simplifies decision-making and reduces stress. This process took several years, and many steps, for me to arrive at both mentally and physically. Sometimes I do bemoan the fact that I can’t buy some “really cool” shoes, because I LOVE shoes. But, we all know that shoes take up more space in a suitcase than just about anything else.

This process that has taken me years to get to, from downsizing from a 3 bedroom, 2 bath home to a 625sf apartment and coming to the realization that I had way more things than I needed, especially my a knack for collecting china, linens and shoes. It’s the sentimental things (and my books) that took the most emotional toll. But, letting those things go as given me a freedom, both physically and emotionally, that I would not trade for comfort.

I’ve also discovered that I can purchase almost anything I need in a different country. It might not be the same brand, but it’s almost always just as good, sometimes even less expensive and better quality. So, rather than packing enough supplies to last me for 5 or 6 months, I pack what I need for the first couple of weeks, and if something runs out, purchase it in-country.

It is sometimes difficult to determine a “want to have” versus a “need to have”. A knife works almost as well as a potato peeler. However, “making do” with a dull knife is a deal breaker. Yeah, I know…my life is tough!

Language doesn’t have to be perfect…

I also spend some time before each trip trying to learn common and often used phrases of a language that I don’t speak. A few phrases, smiles, and patience go a long way — people appreciate the effort more than perfection. And, thank goodness for Google Translate. It has saved my butt many, many times.

Not every place will feel magical.

When dreaming about traveling around the world, you imagine how amazing all the places you visit will be. I now know that there are some places that, no matter how beautiful they are, just don’t hit the sweet spot for me — and sometimes I’m disappointed. That’s okay. It’s an experience that I can learn from, and simply just part of traveling full-time.

When I find myself in a place that I’m not happy about, I first try to find the things that I can do to make it better. If that doesn’t work….I pivot and go elsewhere.

There are some places that I feel an immediate attraction to and know that it’s a place I could spend a lot more time, maybe even live in. France & Spain hit those marks for me.

Research, research and more research!

I’ve discovered that sometimes, no amount of research will prepare you for what you are about to experience. When things go wrong, you improvise — and learn to thrive without having all the answers. A photo of a hotel across the road from the beach, does not show that there is a fence and two sets of railroad tracks there as well. And, that you will need to walk over a mile, just to cross the tracks to the beach. Just saying….

Gratitude transforms everything.

The laughter, the small kindnesses, bizarre evenings, and breathtaking views — focusing on gratitude makes memories sharper and travel richer.

Every day of my life I try to appreciate what I have and how privileged I am to be in good health and have the ability to travel and experience life in this way. I am most fortunate in so many ways.